Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Why Pakistan Can never fail





Pakistan is a prime example of the above statement.

Pakistanis have been skinned alive but they still dream of a shepherd coming to rescue them. Here is a list of things that DONT worry any Pakistani. Pakistan is a heaven for Politicians and rulers. I predict that after reading this article, many politicians will rush to get Pakistani Citizenship.

1. Non existence of  electricity. This is to insure the survival of our caveman culture. Culture is regarded as very important in Pakistan and all attempts to weaken it are not taken lightly

2.Inflation higher than Himalayas, Fruits and vegetables are used as decoration pieces in homes. Leaves and mud cakes are substituted for food and other nutritional requirement.

3. Corruption deeper than the ocean, the only country where politicians  claim that they have a right to corruption on live public TV.

3.Education darker than a cave, Higher education almost disbanded by uneducated leaders with fake degrees. some even making fun of education by saying a degree is degree whether fake or real. Then repeating the same claim with a new twist as ' degree is degree whether of  a thermometer or university'. All the while,  the sheep watch with amusement and fun.

4.Railway system rusting under minister who owns transporting company, the thief openly saying that we dont need it. by 'we' he means himself as trucks owned by him bring in alot of doe

5. A military busy in foreign policy, yes after defending their borders, they seem to think,they can defend foreign policy too.

6. A foreign ministry busy with fashion, Yes very soon the foreign minister will release her own fashion line. Khar-wear. My expert professional advice to her,  Please don't market in Pushtu or Persian speaking Markets.

7. A prime minister whose only job is to read press releases. Head of a cabinet whose members are busy milking their cows in each ministry. PIA Railway. Sell the milk till the cow can stand. 

8.A president holed up in a fort, busy counting his loot. Without a wife and any children to distrub him, his only preoccupation seems to be in the bedroom with strangers and checking after each hour, thru online banking , his growing Swiss accounts.

9. An opposition busy killing mosquitoes. Yes with all the action not in their hands and waiting for their turn to milk the cows, they are busy killing mosquitoes. They were previously busy with the flies but they all seem to have died off when Raymond Davis left.

10. Religious parties busy in defending our borders and training new recruits with fatal taweez and killer zikrs.

11. Businessmen busy taking out their cash from Pakistan and buying real estate in Dubai at higher prices and then selling at cheaper prices to help alleviate poverty in the Emirates

12. Engineers busy making designs,  for state of the art Dams, which will Generate Milk honey and other useful edibles for export to Africa.

13. Policeman busy investing in their jobs and maneuvering the market to raise their P/E Ratios. Some are busy making feasibility studies of markets which are best suited for deployment, so as to highlight areas where politicians are able to supply funds without any market constraints.

14. Student are busy in understanding news ways E-commerce on Facebook, Youtube and Red-tube. Females are making use of the technology transfer MOUs  with Bollywood, where by our new generation are utilizing the latest techniques for marketing human leather , posture, expressions and body movements which stimulate sexual production. This will have an added benefit of increasing our population, which we might be able to exported to the poverty stricken Arabian countries  to help with the poverty alleviation programs. The males students are busy grading and perfecting these new techniques so to make them ready for global marketing.   

16. Media and entertainment industry is engaged in the education field.

Different media outlets are busy in different sectors based on the funding available. Some parts of the media are busy spreading Islam as viewed by American fund raisers and suppliers, situated in the pentagon. Islam is branded as martial arts technique in dealing with Superpowers like USSR and other dictators. They educate future mercenaries who are able to work without any remuneration other than food and lodging.

Other parts of the media are busy in political party education. They help people to identify the  future Shepard and his band of merry men who will steal from the poor and give to the rich.







17.Farmers and other laborers of Pakistan,  once in five years, get paid a day's wage for putting a vote for the local strong man. The rest of five years they spend in slavery for the local politician or Pir sahib. The farmers are also know for raising large number children which they sell once year to meet their cash requirements.













18. Foreigners and expat are the hardworking people of the country. they are responsible for GDP growth and providing other major services that the nation may require. Some expats are busy in finding and locating prime targets for assassination for the American Drone program. This generates revenue for the Govt of Pakistan and meeting the expenses of  some govt officials.

Others are busy in providing loans to the govt of Pakistan, which are paid off as salary to the politicians and along with other perks. Most of these loans end up in swiss bank accounts. Some of these funds may go thru local NGO Accounts before they get transferred to Swiss banks. Loan repayments are non existent and not considered to be of no importance and left for future governments or the coming future shepard, to deal with.


Thursday, February 11, 2010

"Cold start"




Well it seems that somthing big is happening in global relations. The End result is not yet clear but The shift is happening very fast. The situation is still fluid. Some of the highlights are below.

Pakistan has clearly come out the closet with its intentions about Afghanistan. As if that wasn't bold enough their calling it the "Afghan end game".

The US wants Pakistan to pursue Afghan Taliban in N. Waziristan. But Pakistan has refused saying they don't want to be stretched thin and the real threat is from the eastern borders.

India has sensed something and it seems that they dont want to be the odd man out. They have agreed to resume secretary level talks which may lead to resumption of the  composite dialogue. Strangly enough Pakistan has also started pursuing the Kashmir issue again. A rally was held in Mazafarab to show support for the Kashimir. Attended by all big wigs including Hameed Gul, Jamat a dawa and a few others. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "bringing skeletons out of the closet"

Strangely it seems that Hakeemullah also seems to have disappeared into thin air. It seems that he may served his purpose.TTP is in disarray and Bajur militants have show some interest in engaging across the border. It seems that a malfunctioning Jihadi GPS has also been fixed.


Also it seems that Pakistani political direction has been streamlined. Certain weeds have been removed or have been put under control. 'Mr. YesSir' Gilani is talking Political reconciliation for National strategic Gains, While his political peers are talking about cliping Mr. 10%'s power to appoint the CJ.


There were days when the Beggar in Chief said that India never posed a threat to Pakistan and Kashimiri militants are terrorists  and now all of sudden he says we need to have increased ties with big brother china


The Americans on the other hand seem to be threatened. Joe bidden yesterday relayed this fear by saying that US is no longer threatened by  Afghanistan, not Iraq, nor the Iranian nuclear crisis, but by Pakistan

America has pissed off  China by the sale of weapons to Taiwan and the meeting of Obama with the Dalai lama.

On Tuesday, Reuters reported: Senior Chinese military officers have proposed that their country ... possibly sell some U.S. bonds to punish Washington for its latest round of arms sales to Taiwan.In any case something big is happening in China which could have a huge effect on the American economy



And to make thing more interesting Charlie Wilson died on Wednesday. Who was Charlie? Just watch his movie. As the head of the House of Representatives Defense Appropriations Subcommittee, Wilson quietly oversaw vast funding increases for the CIA’s campaign against Soviet forces in Afghanistan, with Pakistan playing a prominent role. He was the father of Al Qaeda, Haqqani Network and the Hikmatyar Group. Not to mention Grandpa to the Taliban.

His death marks a symbolic end to an era and an indication of the things to unfold.



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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Mother of all Terrorists

The Mother of all Terrorists: "The Mother of all Terrorists

To Be Taken Quite Literally!"

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Beggar in Chief

The President of the United states: Commander In Chief


Former President Of the United states: Mr. President


President of Pakistan: Eh..........eh..............Beggar In Chief!
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Obama: Forgive Mr. President but I think you created a monster.

Bush: Just tel him you don't have change.........and ask sara to show him out.........
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Barak Bushama

Dont the middle picture give you goose bumps...............
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What people will do to entertain !

A performer squirts milk through his eyes, by blowing hard against a blocked nose, during a performance to celebrate Chinese New Year at a park in Beijing January 29, 2009



Guests have dinner at a event known as "Dinner in the Sky" as they are seated around a table that is lifted by a crane in Vina del Mar city, about 75 miles (120 km) northwest of Santiago January 22, 2009. "Dinner in the Sky" is hosted at a table that accommodates 22 people around a table suspended at a height of 50 metres by a crane. The guests are secured by a six-point harness.




A waitress dressed as a flight attendant serves customers inside the A380 In-flight Kitchen, a restaurant named after the giant Airbus airliner, in Taipei January 22, 2009. Imagine a flight without security checks, turbulence or even ticketing. More importantly, there's more than just fish or chicken for dinner. An entrepreneur in Taipei has run exactly this service since November, packing in the passengers, as a restaurant that looks and almost functions like an airliner but sells a full menu's worth of high-end Western food, sometimes in plastic trays.





Thailand's 'Scorpion Queen' Kanchana Kaetkaew, 38, poses with scorpions inside a glass room at the Ripley's Believe It or Not museum in Pattaya, January 24, 2009. Kanchana set a new 33 day record for the longest stay with 5,000 live adult scorpions from December 22, 2008 to January 24, 2009

Comparing the Age we living in

I received this from a friend. really makes u think where we're heading.


How old is Grandma??? Stay with this -- the answer is at the end.



It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

television

penicillin

polio shots

frozen foods

Xerox

contact lenses

Frisbees and

the pill

There was no:

radar

cr edit cards

laser beams or

ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

pantyhose

air conditioners

dishwashers

clothes dryers

and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

man hadn't yet walked on the moon


Your Grandfather and I got married first, . .

and then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25,

I called every man older than me, "Sir".
And after I turned 25,

I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir"

We were before

gay-rights,

computer- dating,

dual careers,

daycare centers,

and

group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments,

good judgment, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong

and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege;

living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship

meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors

when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant

time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-

not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of

FM radios,

tape decks,

CDs,

electric typewriters,

frozen yogurt,

or

guys wearing earrings.

We listened to

the Big Bands,

Jack Benny,

and the President's

speeches on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing

his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it,

it was junk.

The term 'making out' referred to how

you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut,

McDonald's,

and

instant coffee

were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually

buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones,

phone calls,

rides on a streetcar,

and a Pepsi

were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge,

you could spend your nickel

on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . .

but who could afford one?


Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

"grass" was mowed,

"coke" was a cold drink,

"pot" was something your mother cooked in

and

"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office

"chip" meant a piece of wood,

"hardware" was found in a hardware store and

"software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually

believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.

No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap... and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old lady in mind...

you are in for a shock!

Read on to see --

pretty scary if you think about it and

pretty sad at the same time.

scroll down

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This Woman would be only 58 years old!